Thursday, September 25, 2008
Exercising!
I just wanted to blog a little bit about exercising. What a great, grand thing it is! And also what a pain it is! Let me back up just a little. Lately I have been feeling "down" or "out of it" or something, I don't know how to explain. I have just felt like nothing is right. (Nothing in particular has gone wrong...) I feel like it is my biggest weakness (that Satan knows) to feel pitty for myself or that nobody likes me or that I don't have enough in life. I feel sheepish saying all this, but I also decided that I needed to talk about it all, to nobody in particular! If that made any sense! Sometimes I feel so insecure about myself that I beat myself up about all the things that are wrong with me! Which in turn makes me get in this slump that I might as well not do anything. It is a sick cycle! I make jokes of it all, but really sometimes it hinders my days trying to be a mother and a wife. Then I was reading vdubs blog about the mother who lost her little boy, I cried my eyes out. I just wanted to run upstairs where my precious little one was sleeping and hug her and give her endless kisses. This family is so strong in their testimonies. It just opened my eyes that all can be lost in a moment, and I didn't want to spend my moments beating myself down to the ground. I wanted to spend them laughing and enjoying life so that if something like that ever happened to me I would be so glad for the time I got to spend and look forward to the time when I will see them again! It may sound like I had an ephinany from this other person's blog, and I think I did while writing this, but where does exercise play a role in all this you ask? Well just today I finally just told myself to put on some work out clothes (something different from what you already have on!) Then I just did it, I just exercised. The difference is night and day an this is just from one day of exercising. I knew of the feeling before because I was much more dillagent about working out during the summer then it just tapered off. I am by no means "cured" but you have to start somewhere right? One foot in front of the other, one step at a time! Ok ok you get the point. But I also decided that I need others input and advice or someone just to listen or maybe even someone who knows what I am talking about or even feeling! Maybe that is a reach I don't know but, I am tired of letting Satan win all these battles! So in closing to this very long blog, I just hope that if anybody has ever felt this way do not think you are alone (as I have obviously done) You do have a Heavenly Father who loves you and an elder brother Jesus Christ who has experienced every trial you can imagine. I know that it is hard to remember that when you feel like you have hit your lowest point, but just take it a day at a time and pray! Thanks for listening!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
hey deb-
Thanks for the heartfelt post. I can't tell you how many times I have gone through this same cycle. I totally agree when you say Satan knows our weaknesses and works on us, but the most liberating part is figuring out our weaknesses too, then along with Heavenly Father's help recognizing when we're falling into them again and doing something about it, like exercise, reading scrips, prayer, serving, getting out and doing something you love, etc.
Sometimes it's so hard for me to feel like I've even progressed at all. My life feels like continual ups and downs and I just wonder if I'm even getting anywhere, but then life will hand me a little opportunity to see how my testimony has grown, my experience has expanded, or my understanding has blossomed. But if I don't take the time to write it down, I forget and soon feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. It really helps me to go back through my journal to see the things I've learned and become.
Wow, this is getting long, but it's something I really feel too. I think a lot more people have this same feeling so often too. Some of the things that help me feel the very best about myself and my day and my progress is honestly really reading and pondering and spending time praying and reading my scriptures every day, even if it's just for 30 minutes. This alone will change my entire outlook on life from the beginning I start reading to the end. The hard part is remembering that and making the time for it everyday. Also things like running, playing my guitar, the piano, singing, doing something for someone else, cleaning, writing out all my feelings, and really playing with emyri and Chad. I'm sure everybody has different things that just help them feel centered. It'd be fun to know what other people did. What helps you the most?
Anyway, sorry again this is so long. Let me know how I can help out. I don't want my deb dawg feeling down. Life really is too short for it. Learning to really love myself and become my own best friend and cheer leader has been one of the greatest things I have ever done for my happiness. The difference was day and night.
I love you so much and just wanted to let you know that I think you really are one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. I think that all the time and I'm not just saying that. There is so much that is beautiful about you, inside and out.
Can't wait to hang out soon: )
Deb,
I'm totally sorry that I never really saw this blog. And things are so busy here. So I'll add what I've been thinking. I read this a little while back and never got to make a comment so I've been thinking about it for a week or so now so that when I got some time then I would post.
Anyway...I think you'd be amazed how many out there have these very same feelings. Many just keep them inside. Especially women, but men too. You're not alone. I spent so much time hating myself when I was younger for something I didn't even know how to fix. And much of the time we were growing up I was dieting really hard. I've been excercising to lose weight since really mid elementary-I knew I wasn't the skiniest one playing nightgames (on the block if you will). Of course a long way down the road I've been able to learn better tricks, better habits, and better motives. I agree with Vdub, you have to use Heanvely Father and just try every day. After a while it just becomes more of a habit. It never becomes easy, and never becomes easy to anyone. You get better and better at it. And like more and more the way you feel. And so it becomes more addictive. Like V said though, there are always up and downs, such is life.
Sometimes I will get into really good patterns of regular exercise and eat quite well but never really lose weight. But the fact that I am bettering myself and doing something about it helps me love myself, see progress, and feel better. It's definitley better to maintain than gain. And that is an accomplishment that needs to be counted. I think so much is just psychology sometimes.
I know that I will always struggle with this and so it is a part of me. And since its a part of me, I need to give myself a break and find a way to love myslef all the same. Heavenly Father doesn't care if we are fat or thin, but he does care what we think of ourselves. And thus, he cares what we care about, and he will help us be happy. We do have to work though and do our part. We all have different genetics, personalities, lives, trials. We need to stop judging ourselves on others and be happy with who we are and what we have to offer. You are such a good friend and have so many things to offer. Make the best of what you have and you won't be let down.
I really hope this helps some b/c I've totally been there and I'm still working on it. And the nice thing is...most everybody else is working on it too!
I'll see you on the blog side
Shwern
Post a Comment